


Remember who you are

by xoDestiel



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux - Freeform, Badass Reader, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Force Choking (Star Wars), Gen, Jedi Leia Organa, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Mentions of Death, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Original Resistance Characters (Star Wars) - Freeform, Other, Possessive Kylo Ren, Reader-Insert, Resistance!Reader, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, resistance original character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28988973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoDestiel/pseuds/xoDestiel
Summary: Resistance pilot Y/N si captured by the the First Order as a prisoner, having to face the infamous Kylo Ren who has special plans for the reader. Even though she seems like just another human part of the resistence, he know there is much more to her than even she knows, so he will use it to his advantage, or so he thinks.
Relationships: Ben Solo/You, Kylo Ren & You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Kudos: 2





	Remember who you are

You were really fucked. 

You were strapped to a fucking table, as if you needed that kind of restraint. Your feet, your hips, your chest, your wrists were strapped. For the makers sake, even your freaking head was locked in some kind of machinery

You heard footsteps, and your heart quickened painfully on your chest. 

You really didn't want to die. 

You started to fight the restraint, kicking your legs, shaking your arms. Desperation was clawing your chest, making you panic as you continued to fight in vain. To your disdain nothing budged or gave away. Of course they wouldn't. You were a simple human, a young, feeble looking, scrawny human.  
The footsteps were closer now, and you could make out voices behind the door. 

You wanted to scream, scream your heart out. but what would that get you? probably a lot of pain. Fear made its way on your spine rising every hair, your shirt clinging uncomfortably to your hot sweaty skin .

The door opened, and you thought about every worst scenario on your head. All of them including the one and only commander Kylo Ren. You thought about how he could kill you in a blink of an eye with just a swap of his hand. You prayed it would be quick and over with, because you really hated pain. You closed your eyes and tried to picture something else, something good before your short life was over, but your mind went white in fear as the footsteps entered the room. Panic settled in your chest painfully as you struggled to breathe.

But maybe, just maybe, luck was on your side, cause the man that stepped into the room was just as human as you.   
You loosened the breath you didn't know you were holding. 

“You are awake now”

The man you recognized as Hux spoke in a restraint voice, looking at your sweaty form struggling to breath on your absurd restraints. It appeared to amuse him, seeing you like that. Scared. Desperate. Hopeless. He was enjoying this.

You held his gaze as you tried to calm your breathing. You could feel the hatred building up in your heart as you registered his expression. If you got out of this, you would make sure to wipe that stupid smirk out of his face… hopefully with a kick on his annoying teeth.

“you brought this situation on yourself (Y/N)” Hux continued, shifting closer to you. He moved his hand to your face, and you tensed every muscle in your body.

“You made quite the mayhem, you know. A lot of people got hurt” He placed his hand on your cheek, making you quickly snap away your face as hard as you could trying to get away from his touch. The restraints held you right on the spot.

Bile rose to your mouth as you felt his touch.

“You deserve a punishment for what you did, and I’ll be glad to watch when it happens”

Your heart skipped a beat as you registered his words. So, he wasn't going to punish you, or at least not right now. Somehow that made it worse, because it only meant one thing  
“Will your precious commander be involved in this” you asked in a painfully raspy voice 

He took his hand away and turned towards the exit. You knew his expression had changed once you mentioned him. 

“I’ll let that up to your imagination”

And once again you were alone as the door closed behind him. Maybe luck wasn't on your side at all. 

Tears started to swell in your eyes and you quickly tried to blink them away. This wasn't the moment to cry, to show any more weakness.  
you wanted to die with some of your dignity at least. But as the silence led on, and the coldness of the room started to chill your bones, you began to become more and more desperate. Your sweat was now a cold friend hugging your body and your skin was now screaming in protest against the bindings.   
All you wanted to do was cry. 

You had so much life left in you. You had just turned 20 years old for the makers sake. No. You weren't going to die, not today, not soon. You had a strong will, which is what made you decide to join the resistance. You believed in them, in what they represented. Hope.

Hope is the last thing you lose right? 

You should have just followed your orders, why were you so stubborn? Why couldn't you just let them be? no. You had to play the hero and sacrifice yourself as a distraction so the other shuttle could escape… but why? they were the ones who didn't follow the plan, who made the mistake, why couldn't you just let them have the consequences of their own actions? Cause that wasn't you. You were someone who puts others in front of you, no matter what. And even after all, you would still do what you did. And that's all that matters.  
Time passed and as your adrenaline started to run out, how cold and uncomfortable you were with every passing second was becoming unbearable. Sweat was running cold on your back, your shirt clung to your body a freezing matter against your skin. You shivered, even your teeth chattering. Why was it so cold? didn't this massive ship had a warming system?

You blinked against the lights on the black ceiling that shone directly on your face. How much time had it passed? you felt it like million years, but it was probably just a couple hours. Maybe more, maybe less. The waiting was killing you, as the fact you didn't know when or where or who was going to “punish you” as Hux said. But you had a clear idea of who, at least. 

The unpredictability of the situation was the worst part. Maybe it will be days of you here, strapped to the fucking table. Or maybe you had just mere minutes of life left. There was a weight in your chest that didn't seem to get any better as time went on, in fact, it was getting worse. It was becoming hard to breath against it, every breath a struggle to take the air into and out of your lungs. You concentrated in doing that, and time seemed to get even slower. What time was it? 

In space, everything was pitch black, tainted with light from stars or ships and ever the slight color of a near planet. There was a glass wall to your left that showed the vast expense of the universe on the other side. You could not turn to look at it, you just saw it with the peripheral vision of your eyes. The universe calmed you, the infinite matter of its entity. You wish you could look, and wonder, and forget about this, your situation, your life. In the universe, your existence was just a mere particle in its vastness. Mere dust, a blip in its existence. No one, nothing.

Somehow that thought made you calm. Somehow you knew that eventually, everyone turns to dust, just as the stars do. 

Footsteps sounded in the hall. Maybe, it was your time to be dust now. 

You closed your eyes, forcing air to your lungs in a jagged breath. Your hands were trembling, so you closed them in fists trying to stop them. Panic rose in your throat, threatening to let out a scream, your heart frantic in your chest as the footsteps came closer and closer. 

The smooth sound of the door opening made you stop breathing, eyes closing in anticipation of your end. After some tense seconds of silence where only your loud heartbeat drummed in your ear, the quietness was broken when he finally spoke.

“I'm not going to kill you” his deep voice rumbled across the room, echoing in your ears. Your blood turned icy cold. You recognized who it was instantly.

Kylo Ren

You let his words hang in the air as you registered what was happening in a panic daze. Kylo ren was in the fucking room with you and told you he wasn’t going to kill you. Could he read your thoughts? You didn't know a lot about the force, reality is nobody really did. How much power did he actually have? you didn't want to find out.

You could feel the weight of his gaze, even with your eyes closed. You sensed how his eyes were watching you, analyzing you. You closed your eyes harder at the sudden temptation to open them, you would not want to give him the satisfaction of watching you die in fear. 

But he wasn't planning on killing you. That was a good thing… maybe. It could mean something worse, but you didn't let your mind wander in that direction. He probably wanted information and to your luck, or perhaps detriment, you didn't know a single thing.

“I’m aware you don't know any information. I know you are just a mere pilot in the resistance.”

Your eyes opened suddenly, the lights all too bright for them. Shock quickly washed away as the words registered in your brain. He knew who you were? He must be bluffing. Your clothes instantly gave away your occupation in the resistance, just one more pilot in the whole bunch of them that were part of that society.

“Yes, you are practically no one” he continued, his steps now circling the table you were currently strapped to. You resisted the urge to look, your curiosity burning your eyes sockets. Why were you so afraid of looking at him? was it fear of what you’d find? a boy who lost his way, you thought, a scared, ignorant boy who got pulled to the dark side… but maybe you were scared of finding something worse there, something not really human, as there were so many stories of this so-called commander Ren. So, you concentrated on keeping your eyes on the burning ceiling lights, the adrenaline pumping on your veins making it impossible to close your eyes now.  
He could read your thoughts, that was clear now. You cursed at him in your mind, wishing for him to hear that.

“But I’ve seen the way they look at you, how they act with you. They need you a lot, even if you don't see it. But I’ve seen you. And I know what you mean to them so...no. I'm not going to kill you for now” He paused, and in your panic frenzy you didn't realize how close he had gotten. He was by your side, his stare burning holes at your face. If you tried, you could see him from the corner of your eyes, but you didn't want that. 

What was he even saying? Why did he stop talking? 

When your heart quickened to a painfully fast rate, your breath coming out in short huffs as the tension kept building in the quietness of the room, he finally broke the silence again.

“I am going to use you”

Now you snapped your eyes close, cursing. You couldn't contain your running tongue as thoughts just burst through your lips, not having the chance to register what you were saying

“What are you even talking about? you know me? You’ve seen me? I'm freaking no one! and especially to the resistance! I just help with whatever they need because I believe in them and in what I do for them” you inhaled a shaky breath, hands gripping the cold material underneath you. You couldn’t brig yourself to shut your mouth, so you continued blabbering in your crazy panic, anger and fear mixed together in your shaky voice “but especially because I fucking hate the Order and what they stand for, what they’ve done to the galaxy, what they did to me and my family. Yes, I help the resistance. But believe me when I say I have never ever taken part in the planning and scheming against the order, because I was trying to avoid this exact freaking situation, because I knew I would end up right here due to my recklessness” You pushed at the restraints by moving your arms and legs in helplessness and frustration. “At least I’m self-aware. But hey, it worked. You got me and I know nothing. I just do my job, and I do it well, but I am no one. I don't have any use for you, other than something pleasant to look at” 

You finished exhaling, hands shaking at your sides. Emotions flared in your chest, but luckily fear was nowhere in sight. You wanted to fight.   
As silence settled again, you tried to collect your scrambled thoughts. You had practically just told him to kill you, as you were no use to him alive. Maybe this was what was meant to be, that being the last snarky comment of your short life. 

The fate of the stars, you thought almost smiling as tears pricked your eyes.

“My mother loves you a lot”

You froze at the mention of her. Leia. Your body was suddenly cold, every muscle tense. There it was again, that weight on your chest that made it very hard to keep bringing oxygen to your body

“I knew you, you know” You felt him move away from you, probably turning towards the view of the galaxy outside the room. You waited in painful silence for him to keep talking, your loud and uneven breathing being the only noise filling the room. You couldn’t resist anymore, you risked a glance. A tall figure had its back to you, all dress in black, even the helmet covering the face of the stranger. That's why his voice sounded a little distorted, you realized, hating how it rumbled uncomfortably in your chest every time he talked. “They took you in just as I started my training with Luke, so I didn't really meet you officially ever, but I knew you.” he turned now, and just as fast you closed your eyes, fear now clawing your insides. “My mother told me a lot about you, since you were young you were quite impressive to her. Your spirit, she would tell me. Such a brave little heart.”  
Memories started hitting you like slaps, being unable to block them as they invaded your every thought. You felt a wave of emotions so strong they were making you sick, nausea making it impossible to concentrate on keeping them away. Tears burned your closed eyes, stomach churning. Was he doing this?  
Did he know you slept in his room? in his bed, with his smell? 

You wanted to burn the memories from your brain, burn the thoughts of you sniffing his pillows that first night you arrived, the way it made you feel safe and warm. How it had been since that day your dream to meet him. How you listened to everything they told you about him, his power, his strength, the promise he was to the Jedi order, always wishing that maybe, one day, you would make him proud of you too. He had been your hero, the reason you fought so hard to be good, be great even. Be the best, because he was. Maybe that was the reason you could not bring yourself to look at him now.

You couldn't confront the emotions he made you feel. The disappointment it was. How your heart broke when he left. It made you feel foolish, childish, angry at how you had been so obsessed with a stranger.  
It just felt like you knew him somehow. But, oh how you were wrong  
“I kind of see it now, that brave heart of yours. It almost feels as if you are ready to die.”  
weren't you?

“I don't want to die” you let out in a croaked voice, to your surprise, though it was the truth.

You felt him come close again, his hand lifting slightly as if to do something. As if to touch you. Your heart quickened painfully in your chest, waiting to feel his power destroy you in mere seconds, turn you into nothing. Into dust. 

“I know you don't want to die. But it appears you seem to believe that as your fate” He lowered his hand, making you release the breath you were holding.   
You cursed under your breath, thinking of how weak you looked here, strapped to a fucking table, at his disposal. You gulped down trying to wet your dry throat with something before you spoke again

“Well, you don't really have a merciful reputation Commander”

Your words hung in the air as tension spread through the room, the air shifting as Kylo walked away from you towards the door. You tried to calm your breathing, wishing for him to just get our and leave you alone. You thought he was going to do just that, but he suddenly turned around.  
This time you looked right at him. He was very, very tall. Dressed in all balck robes, black boots and belt. And of course, the helmet. It was all black except for some silver details and it covered the whole expense of his head, hiding everything that gave a clue of how he looked behind it. 

You stared at him, and knew he was staring right back at you, but you wouldn't drop your gace, not now. 

“What do you think will hurt them the most?” he started, you recognized his voice now tainted clearly with the metal rasp of the mask. “killing you in front of them or, turning you to my side against them.”

You saw him clench his fists as he finished, turning his face towards the galaxy, probably deep in thoughts. You decided to keep quiet, partly because you didn't know how to respond to that but also not wanting to give him any ideas. You knew one of those options was literally impossible to happen, but his mind and yours knew it was the only one that kept you alive. You wouldn't tell him this, you wouldn’t answer. Let him decide. Let's leave it to fate, you decided, while you stared back at the ceiling, towards the bright lights that blinded you off everything else, trying to ignore the looming figure by your feet. You started to feel sweat run down your back once again, dampening your palms as you clenched your clothes in an attempt to calm yourself.

“Come with me”

He commanded in his deep voice, as in seconds all the restraints and machinery holding you to the table snapped open, freeing you of its clutch. You sucked in a breath in shock, your heart pounding maniacally in your chest. Now even with your head free, as all of your body, you couldn't bring yourself to move, to blink, to breathe. 

You were frozen on the spot. You stayed there, still as a rock, mind incredibly blanck. Seconds passed and he shifted forward, sighing, as in frustration. 

You weren't following his order. You weren't moving. You weren't sure you could. 

You saw him wait some more second, his hands clenching at his sides as he stared at you intently, expectantly. And you didnt move.

Why weren't you moving? Maybe because some part of you, the most stubborn, childish part, didn't want to give him the satisfaction of following his command

“If that's how you want it to be then, so be it” He muttered, turning around. You released a breath, heart racing as a smile threatened to break on your face. But your pleasantness was suddenly interrupted as you saw him raise his hand in an effortless manner.

And then, all and every single cell in your body reacted, pulling you up and right towards him in seconds. The pull was so strong you didn't even blink and you were there, standing behind him less of an arm away. Your whole body felt weirdly tense,as if it was being squashed by some invisible force.

Force. He was using the force on you, your whole body. Your feet weren't even touching the floor. And he wasn't even looking at you 

You wanted to scream, but you realized that you couldn't. You couldn't speak. Couldn't blink. You couldn't move. And specially, couldn't breath. 

Your heart quickened in desperation as realization dawned in, fear clawing your insides as panic started to take over you. You couldn't do anything, just stare at his back, only stare, unblinking eyes watering in fear, your ears now ringing, your head pounding due to the lack of oxygen it was receiving.  
Black dots started to taint your vision as pain spread now on your head, chest, your arms, your legs, your whole body. Is this what death felt like? it must be, you thought, wishing it for it to just be over with. 

And just as you thought you couldn't take it anymore, he dropped his hand, releasing you. 

You fell to your knees gasping for air, tears streaming freely down your face as you struggle to regain air, to breathe, to not pass out. Your whole body felt on fire, pain in every single cell, your head pounding as if it was going to explode. You choked on your saliva as you continue to struggle to breathe, now coughing uncontrollably. You felt how nausea took over and you quickly closed your mouth preventing your vomit to come out of your body as you hunched over, breathing through your nose to calm down

Your sobs hung in the air as you started to calm down, now being able to breathe through your nose, the pain slowly subsiding. You were still hunched over on the floor, arms wrapped around your stomach, eyes closed, whole body trembling, when he spoke again.

“Come with me”

His voice was the same monotone, robotic voice. You felt him move, and soon followed the sound of his steps. 

You weren't going to make the same mistake again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! thank you for reading :D this is my first attempt at a fanfic about my favorite character Kylo Ren hehe  
> hope you liked it and I'd aprettiate the feed back, any, good or bad!   
> This story will have chapters, character development following as true to character as possible, being a slow burn from enemies to lovers between the reader and Kylo.   
> For any weird grammar mistake, feel free to correct me for as inglish isn't my first lenguage!


End file.
